Happy Birthday GS!

To my dear FRIEND Gianne, happy happy happy birthday!

I wish you all the best of love, luck, health and wealth! I miss you love. I hope to see you soon.

I love you. :-) Guess when these were taken. (Sorry sa amateur photoshopping)

I'm a Loser

My husband's in Boracay for the weekend. So what's up for me? All my friends are busy (and most of the closest one are the farthest, scattered all over the globe). I don't drive. I hate commuting, so going home to my parents is out of the picture.

I am at home, and super bored but there is really nowhere to go and no one to hang out with.

Here are the list of things I plan to do tonight, tomorrow and on Sunday:
1. Edit photos from Pizza and Eya's last day.
2. Fix song titles, artist and album names, and album art in iTunes.
3. Try sewing a miniature dress and see if my hands can create the dress I imagine creating.
4. Maybe I'll go to Megamall and buy new fabric. I want to buy vintage satin in emerald green and some lining to the liquid jersey fabric I bought a couple of weeks ago.
5. Mani pedi perhaps in Galleria?
6. Watch the movies I downloaded last week.
7. Download new movies.

In fairness, madami din pala akong pwedeng gawin.

Oh, and I also plan to watch Harry Potter alone. Kaso sa Galleria lang kasi super loser ko na if I still go to Greenbelt and watch by myself. Wala naman na siguro ngayon na nangiinjection ng dugo na may AIDS sa sinehan diba?

Booo, ang loser ko!

Age: Something I Cannot Defy

I cannot hide it anymore. I'm getting older.

My officemate was browsing my camera he said, "Mukha ka nang mommy."

Kaboom!

I am definitely old, my looks cannot hide my age anymore. Should I get a nip here and a tuck there? But I'm broke!!!

These are the only solution that I can afford:

1. Photoshop photos. :-)

2. Hide tagged photos I only post photos of myself where I am confident that I look okay.

3. Make friends only with people who are older so I can "blend" with their looks and/or appear younger.

Oh life.. there are just some things you can never defy.

Today's Realizations

So I've been spending a lot of time talking about lots of stuff with my seatmate in the office. He made realize these things:

My exes are not pogi.
Have my eyes shrank? My taste differed? People aged? Basta, he commented Jejemon pa in one. I really learned that you should not oppose your mom when she say's someone isn't good for you when you are young. Kahit gaano pa yan kagwapo noon, mag-iiba din itsura nyan. So kids, fall in love when you are old enough and your features already matured. I will definitely teach my kids this lesson!

Head over heart over eyes.
Okay, so when it comes to love, my eyes come last with my head first. Loving the one I am with, and standing firmly on my decisions. What ever happens afterwards, I have to face and make the most out of every experience. I think so I still know what to do if I fall.

I am not happy (or at least I need a reason to).
I do not want to be a bad wife, but I need more time spent with my husband. It's really a factor pala in relationships, so you don't end up wasting time doing something else. But there's career that poses a threat for time. It needs balance.

It took someone 5 years my junior to make me realize these things. Not that I do not know, but this was intended to be kept inside the baul.

As they say in accounting: Going concern - the assumption that we will continue on long enough to carry our objectives and commitments.

I want to be...

...young and carefree
to have my weekly allowance back,
have no responsibilities but to pass college,
go out every night and not care about work the next day,
just to be young and not mind competition,
mind only myself and what makes me happy.

...confident
step out the door,
look up on the sky,
paste a smile on my face,
and walk with my head held up high.

...active
never run out of fun things to do,
a variety of friends to go out with,
be in interesting places,
get out of this bed!

I am fuckin' bored and this boredom makes me so insecure, and yes, FAT.

Secured Facebook Profile

Have you read a post similar to this one in FB?

Hi peeps, FYI - While on Facebook, look at your URL address (up the top in the 'address' bar); if you see http: instead of https: then you don't have a secure session and you can be hacked. Go to Account|Account Settings|Account Security and click Change. Check at least the first setting, FB defaults to the non-secure setting.

I just did and profile url did start with https:// afterwards. Unfortunately it switches back off when you play games in FB. It prompts a question though, then you may have to manually switch it back on.

My games are equally important with networking. :-) I just hope my account won't get hacked.

Married but single but married

A lot of people are asking me how married life is.

It's been over a year since J and I got married and really, my answer has always been the same. 

Okay lang. Parang single pa din.

And its true. I couldn't really tell what's different. Is it just because we do not have kids yet? Or is it because we have a different level of attachment to each other?

Sometimes it scares me that we do not share the same fondness or the same level of cheesiness between most newly married people. Is it because we have spent more than 7 years in the dating stage before we settled down?

Are we just too career centered to focus on married life?

At times on a Friday or Saturday night, my mom would call me and ask me where I am. On a couple of situations I was out with my friends and J has his own thing. She would tell me that J and I should be going out as one and not as separate individuals. Is that an old fashioned thought? Well, I tell myself that I should respect our individuality and give space for each of our enjoyment. But sometimes, I feel like I should take a leap and make us stay together longer during the day.

I want to feel some form of cheesiness between us. We have been used to going around separately and I feel its not becoming healthy. Now I feel like crying for not being like other couples. It's not that this is a bad thing at all. I am just scared that I am missing something along this process.

I do not want to be a bad wife.